Musings About Life... After Birth

To see the entire collection, click here. It’s gorgeous - and so reasonably-priced.

Seen in this month’s Domino Magazine (one of my favorite obsessions - seriously, get a subscription NOW, y’all - you will LOVE it): Dwell Studio, maker of seriously cool, mod textiles -the most popular of which are their crib bedding sets - will this February debut a line created especially for Target. Included in Dwell’s 12-pattern Target collection will be table linens, bedding (for adults and baby) and, for the first time, furniture.

For those of you unfamiliar with DwellStudio’s products, here are a few images:

Though the February issue of Domino features a few images from the collection, this is the only one available online thus far:

I’ve never been a huge fan of “message” tees. Even when they were cool like two or so years ago, I always thought they were lame - especially when worn by annoying celebrities like Paris Hilton and the like, with messages like “I stole your boyfriend” or “Mrs. Timberlake”. Barf.

Of course, maternitywear has its fair share of message tees, many of which are equally lame (who can forget Britney Spears, pregnant with first son Sean Preston, showing up at the premiere of the remake of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” sporting an “I have the golden ticket” tee, complete with arrow pointing to her belly?). I find most of them pretty contrived - especially the “obvious” ones that say corny things like “sexy mama”. Ohhh - I get it! You’re sexy - AND about to be a mama! How CLEVER!

As with anything, however, there are exceptions. Occasionally, maternity tees do pop up that are downright funny - not to mention authentically clever. My favorites are the ones from Molly Anna, many of which are made from organic cotton. Here are a few I find quite cute:

Catch me on XM Radio’s “Broadminded” Thursday afternoon at 12:20 PM EST (and replayed at 6:20 PM EST) on XM Channel 155. I’ll be joining Broads Molly and Christine to discuss the awesome makeover my kitchen recently got, thanks to some super-cool stainless steel Frigidaire Professional Series appliances, and also to test out some groovy kitchen gadgets.

If you’re unable to catch the show, here’s the lowdown:

If you can’t stand the heat, do like I did and get a new kitchen!

I

was ready to ditch the old, white, energy-guzzling appliances that came with my house, so I searched high and low for the latest and greatest energy efficient, stainless steel kitchen equipment, which I found in Frigidaire’s Professional Series. Though I was concerned about installing a kitchen full of fingerprint-revealing stainless steel appliances within the easy reach of my son (the dishwasher, his favorite, especially), the line’s EasyCare stainless steel finishes resists smudges and fingerprints and do not require special cleaning, which eased my fears.

Here’s what I selected:

Range and Microwave    After seeing “An Inconvenient Truth”,

I vowed to make all sorts of “green” changes to my life. After I learned that electric ranges use up to three times (!) as much energy as gas ones, I knew I needed to ditch my dinosaur of an electric stove for the the far more energy-efficient (and chef-friendly) Frigidaire Gas  Range

with Self-Clean Oven.

While I love that the stove will cut down on my energy usage, earning Al Gore’s (and Leonardo DiCaprio’s) approval, I can’t help but adore its super-cool features too. On the top of my list: the XtraZone Burner, an oval-shaped burner placed in the center of the cooktop, which features a removable griddle surface, allowing for more effective cooking of items like quesadillas and pancakes, her my son’s favorites. Equally cool are the Precision Set Surface Controls, which enable precise temperature control by way of digital feedback, and the Favorite & Keep Warm Settings, which offer the ability to program in time and temperature for a digital recall of frequently-used baking settings as well as a “Keep Warm” setting, which holds the oven temperature at 170 degrees, making it possible to keep food warm until guests arrive.

Because everything’s gotta match (and there were all sorts of gross tomato sauce stains inside my old microwave), I had the stainless steel Over-Range Microwave Oven installed above her new stove. The new model offers one-touch cooking and a super-defrost feature that gets the job done 50% faster.

Range and microwave before

The range and microwave retail for $1599 and 449, respectively. Visit frigidare.com for retail locations near you or lowes.com to purchase directly.

Refrigerator

My old fridge awkwardly stuck out way past my counters, so I replaced it with the Side-by-Side Counter Depth refrigerator. Though I was worried about losing storage space, I found the new model to be exceptionally roomy – in fact, it boasts glass shelves big enough to accommodate an 18-inch round party platter ready for guests. I’m loving its in-door water dispenser and ice maker, as well as its PureAir Filter, which uses naturally occurring minerals neutralize odors in the refrigerator…so breakfast doesn’t taste like last night’s dinner.

Old Fridge….

New Fridge (red fridge, blue fridge….)!

The fridge retails for $2399. Visit frigidare.com for retail locations near you or lowes.com to purchase directly.

Dishwasher

What’s worse than a washer that’s not only loud, but takes forever to do its thing? My old dishwasher was guilty of both, so I

upgraded to the SpeedClean Dishwasher with SaharaDry, which alleviated both problem issues.

The dishwasher retails for $749, visit frigidare.com for retail locations near you or lowes.com to purchase directly.

The final result:

Heres’ the “old” kitchen (or one wall of it).

Here’s that wall, all redone. Pretty snazzy, huh?

Want the chance to win a full Frigidaire kitchen suite from Lowe’s? Visit newkingofthekitchen.com (and check out some great recipes and entertaining tips from Food Network cutie Dave Lieberman while you’’re there!).

This Saturday, DC/Baltimore boutique Urban Chic (one of my absolute favorites) is having their big one-day sale! If you shop between between 10:00 am and 1:00 pm, you’ll enjoy 55% off red dot items from designers like Rebecca Taylor, Tory Burch and Kooba.

If you’re in DC, visit the Georgetown location at 1626 Wisconsin Avenue. If you’re a Baltimore gal, check out the store at 811 Aliceanne Street. Bethesda and Annapolis locations are coming soon - woo hoo!

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who I really, really dislike, returned to The View this morning after having been on maternity leave following the birth of her second child, son Taylor Thomas. Check out her glorious homecoming to the lamest group of daytime talk show hostesses ever by clicking here.

If there’s one thing that irks me more than talentless, Fox news-regurgitating, Stepford fembots who are supposed to represent the ladies of my generation, it’s placing unrealistic weight loss expectations on post-partum moms. Despite this, I did tune in to watch Elisabeth and see how she looked. Clad in a crazy-printed, black and white empire-waist dress, you couldn’t really tell how much weight she had or hadn’t lost, and you know what - fine with me. Even though I am sure your producers will have an opinion on how quickly you need to lose that weight, I don’t care, Elisabeth. You just had your second kid, so don’t worry about it. Take your time.

What I do care about, however, Elisabeth, was your decision to get a spray-tan that made you look like a walking clementine. I’m assuming this was the case, as I have only seen babies “yellow” with jaundice post-birth, and not moms “orange “with whatever the heck might turn them orange. You looked like an oompa loompa, Liz. Go home and scrub that crap off with a Mr. Clean magic eraser.

Your, baby, however? Seriously, seriously cute. Call me for a play date. I need to talk some political sense into you anyway.

Here’s what was going on in my life, roughly this time last year:

My son has recently become obsessed with any and every thing that features wheels. He has eschewed all of his toys that aren’t trucks, cars or tractors, and each morning when he wakes up, he throws a fit until I open the window so he can look out onto our street and point to all of our neighbors’ cars.

The other day, I reported this to Momtourage member Linda while we were at Pottery Barn Kids together.

“I hate to tell you this, honey, but you know this means he has no shot of being gay,” she said. In my never-ending quest to steer my son towards a life in which he’ll never leave me for another woman, I removed my child from the “boy” side of the store and plunked him and Linda’s daughter, Lily, in the middle of the pretend kitchen equipment. “Look, kids - check out this pink stove!” I sang. Lily immediately started playing with the toy stove and refrigerator, while my son ignored me, making a beeline back to the other side of the store, zeroing in on a wheeled train, tipping it over and spinning its wheels.

“You need to just give it up,” Linda sighed.

“That’s easy for you to say,” I shot back. “Your kid will see nothing wrong with accompanying her mother on vacations when she’s 30.” Linda admitted I had a point.

At first, my son was calling all vehicles “tractor”, after his favorite wheeled toy.

Soon, he learned that the word for his blue and yellow dump truck was “truck”, and began to use it as well. Recently, he picked up “car”. Unfortunately, however, he has morphed “car” and “truck” into a new word he now uses when pointing out all wheeled vehicles. This past week, he debuted this word when I took him with me to meet Momtourage member Melissa and her son for lunch. After finishing his turkey and swiss crepe, my kid pointed to a van outside and shouted “cock!”

“Did he just say what I think he said?” she asked, giggling.

He repeated it about 3 more times. It was as clear as day. “I believe so,” I groaned.

“That’s hilarious.” she laughed, then tried to get him to say “big” beforehand. I finally told her - not so nicely- to stop it.

Everywhere my husband and I took him this past weekend, he pointed out a “cock”.

“Oh my God,” I said to my husband, after my son shouted “cock” about 20 times in the middle of the toy store. “It totally sounds like he’s saying ‘cock’, right? It’s not just me?”

“Uh, it doesn’t sound like he’s saying ‘cock’,” he said, “He is.”

Perhaps there’s hope after all…..

If Mike Nichols wants to do a remake of “The Graduate” (a.k.a. my favorite movie of all time), I’m hereby inviting him to cast me as Mrs. Robinson and my most recent crush, Michael Cera, as Benjamin Braddock, the young buck she seduces and later beds, much to the dismay of her daughter, who’s dating him.

I always thought Cera was adorable on Arrested Development, the canceled Fox series that employed way too much brilliantly subtle humor to be embraced by the majority of television-watching America, but ever since seeing him in recent movies “Superbad” and “Juno” (in which he delivers an especially “I love you, Michael, really….I do” performance), I find him absolutely swoon-worthy.

Sure, he’s a barely legal, single Hollywood star at the peak of his marketability and I’m 32, married, nearly 7 months pregnant and go to bed with pink dot constellations of Mario Badescu’s drying potion on my zits, but who the hell says I don’t have a shot with him?

Call me, Michael…...I’ll be the Demi to your Ashton.

In honor of today’s Iowa caucuses, here’s a quick little distraction to help you determine which Presidential candidate best falls in line with your personal beliefs:

Select a Candidate Quiz

Apparently, CT Senator Chris Dodd is my ideological twin (except when it comes to the issues of immigration and Social Security). And I always thought it was Carrie Bradshaw…..

Need a little de-stressing after the holiday season? Why not treat yourself to a relaxing facial, massage, manicure or new ‘do? I know it’s tough getting away, but leaving your kids with family, friends or your significant other for an hour or two so you can get a little “you time” can be really rejuvenating.

If you need a recommendation for a good spa in your area, check out this guide that I recently wrote for The Family Groove on the best spas and salons across the country. If you live in the NYC, DC, San Francisco, Seattle, Atlanta, Chicago , Los Angeles or Boston areas, I’ve got some great suggestions on places to visit. If you live elsewhere and need a getaway, email me at chelsea@themomtourage.com and I’ll help you find a great spa or salon in your area.

Now go make an appointment, already!