Musings About Life... After Birth

I don’t care if you’re a Democrat or a Republican - if you’re a parent and are anything but disgusted by President Bush and the Republicans, you’re not paying attention. Here’s the deal:

In today’s Washington Post, there’s an article about how yesterday, Congressional negotiators agreed to a ban on a family of toxins found in children’s products. This ban will include three types of phthalates, which are found in plastics (they make plastic softer and more durable) commonly used in children’s toys, and to outlaw three other phthalates pending a study of their health effects in children and pregnant women. Why? Well, phthalates act as hormones and cause reproductive problems, especially in boys. Federally funded research found that male babies born to women with high levels of phthalates in their blood exhibited low sperm count, undescended testicles and other reproductive problems. Other studies have connected some phthalates to liver and kidney cancer. For purposes of global comparison, the European Union banned the six phthalates in question from children’s products in 1999 and more than a dozen other countries have done the same.

In a mind-blowing response, White House spokesman Tony Fratto said that President Bush opposes this ban. I’m going to repeat this and make it bold, because I want to make sure everyone gets this: President Bush opposes banning plastics that are harmful to children and pregnant women.

This makes me so angry that I am shaking. Shaking. Do I even need to explain why?

Joining President Bush on the deplorably disgusting list: (no shocker here) Exxon Mobil, which manufacturers the phthalate most frequently found in children’s toys. The company spent a chunk of its $22 million lobbying budget in the past 18 months to try to prevent this ban and try to get people to believe that banning phthalates may inadvertently expose children to greater risks, because manufacturers will be forced to use substitute chemicals that may be even more hazardous. Let me get this straight, Exxon Mobil: the U.S. should so allow toxic chemicals to be placed in kids’ toys because there’s a chance that whatever we decide to replace them with might end up being toxic too? Um, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and recommend we just go right on ahead and get rid of the stuff we know is highly toxic, mmmkay? I have faith that on he next go-‘round we’ll make sure that sperm and kidney-destroying chemicals aren’t allowed into rubber duckies. Seriously, how do these people sleep at night?

Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), who sponsored the ban, said yesterday that the action is a first step toward moving the United States closer to the European model, where industry must prove the safety of a chemical before it is allowed on the market. Now seriously, doesn’t that make sense? Perhaps some prelim research prior to a chemical additive’s approval (as opposed to waiting until children suffer health consequences and THEN taking action) is a wise plan, no? Sadly, only the Democrats agree with her. Senate and House Republicans all voted against the ban, and you know why. Of course, the jerks at Exxon Mobil, etc. poured all kinds of obscene money into the Republicans’ re-election campaigns (check their campaign finance records - it’s publicly available info) in exchange for promises that they’d vote to oppose this ban. Really, how can we not be disgusted by the fact that our governmental representatives can and are willing to be bought at the expense of our safety - ESPECIALLY that of our kids?

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that do not hide the fact that I am a liberal. To me, however, this shouldn’t a partisan issue; liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican, parent or not, you should support a ban on using toxic ingredients when making kids’ toys. The record is clear, though: the lawmakers against this ban are Republicans, and the ones supporting the ban are Democrats.

We must keep this in mind when we vote this November.

I was on Little Rock’s B98.5 this morning discussing my “A Guide to Loving Southern Men” article and had a blast. Wanna listen? Click here (and enjoy my seriously souped-up southern accent - it always happens when I talk to southern folks…and have a few drinks).

Big bro has been going through a period where he prefers that we call him by a name other than his own. The name changes weekly, and most are plucked from things he sees on television. There was a five week-long “Backyardigans” phase where he was “Pablo” for one week, “Austin” for two, “Tasha” for another and then “Pablonator” (from the “Cops and Robots” episode, naturally) for the final week. After that, he wanted to be addressed as “Mr. Diego”, which I am assuming is some sort of Dora/Diego reference, though I have no idea from where the “Mr.” originated (because really, shouldn’t it be Señor ?). Up until last weekend, his name choice was “Pony”, one of the monster trucks in “Meteor and the Mighty Monster Trucks”. Interestingly, Pony is the only girl truck on the show - and just happens to be purple. As much as I’d like to use this selection as “Maybe my son IS gay!!!” evidence, I actually think he likes her because she’s purple, his favorite color (which, still, is not totally masculine, right?). Anyway…presently, he’s “Remy” from the movie “Ratatoullie”. He’s even gone so far as to dub Little Bro “Emile” (the big brother rat in the movie, but whatever….), my husband “Daddy Rat” and me “Mommy Rat”.

When he chooses a name, we MUST address him as such. Calling him by his actual name gets you a swift admonishing (“It’s Remy.”). He gets into it by referring to his newly-monikered self in the third person (“Remy wants a cookie!”, “Remy does not want to take a rat bath!”). If you want to get him to do something, the only way to be successful is to call him by his new name. Apparently, this goes on at school too. After requesting that she call him “Pony”, his teacher, who also happens to be Grandmomtourage member Debbie, mother of Momtourage member Jen, assumed this was my pet name for him, and asked Jen to confirm her suspicion. “No, I thought it was Mr. Diego,” she replied. Of course, I had to explain that no, in fact, he’s actually so obsessed with a purple, female monster truck (which part of that is the most objectionable?) from television that he feels compelled to take on her identity. “Ohhhhh…” they replied.

What’s funny about this story is that apparently my husband went through a similar phase. In the first grade, the school called his mother to tell him that he had been writing “Pelé Kaplan” as his name on all of his assignments.

His teachers were not amused. Neither was my education professor mother-in-law when they called her in for a conference and tried to tell her to make him stop. “Why don’t you just worry about teaching, okay?” she told them. “He can sign his name however he wants.” Oh, snap! Of course, she knew he’d eventually grow out of it, which he has. For the most part.

Of course, just like my mother-in-law, I know this little role-playing thing is a harmless phase. I just hope that when he’s tempted to dye his hair blue or pierce his nose to “express himself” in high school, he just asks to be called “Pony” instead.

Below is an email I received today from “Mary Miller”, in response to an article I have up today on MSN.com titled “A Guide to Loving Southern Men”:

Your article on MSN on How to Love a Southern Man confirms my observation that people from the South don’t get around much. Being a transplant from California (yes, it’s more than 1 big amusement park) I can tell you that men in California ALSO like their mama’s, biscuits, quirky family members and have the “sensitivity” to open doors and to sit deep in thought without much to say all thru dinner (supper to you). I am here to “gently” and “sweetly” inform you that the same types also live in every other state I drove across to reach Atlanta. Thanks for giving “the rest of us” your secret insights to nothing new. At least the bottom line found you throwing off your blinders and marrying a “Northerner”. Finally, something to smile sweetly at.

...and my response:

Mary,

While people from the south might not “get around much”, you, apparently, don’t read much. As the intro to the article very clearly states, the text of the article contains the advice/opinions of Deborah Ford, author of “Bless His Heart: The GRITS Guide To Living With (or Just Loving) a Southern Man” - not mine. Therefore, I’m not sure why you sent your obnoxious, moronic comments to me and not her.

I am pleased, however, to hear that you now reside in my hometown of Atlanta. Southern women will eat a bitch like you for lunch. I just wish I could be there to see it happen.

Cheers!
Chelsea

A few weeks ago I wrote about what I believe to be the cutest kids’ stationery ever. This week, I’ve got something for us, mamas.

Again, I’m somewhat obsessed with stationery. Therefore, for me to label a particular brand as my new favorite - well, that really means something. In researching for the upcoming personalized stationery piece I’m writing for The Family Groove’s October issue, I came across the sweet, cheeky, handmade papergoods from Angeline Tsao of Cake + Milk Paperie and instantly fell in love.  The hallmark of Tsao’s designs is her use of fabric; many of her products are adorned with ribbon or shimmery thread, like her adorable Ribbon Note Cards, for example:

Guess what Big Bro had for dinner tonight:

I love the pasta beard he gets when he eats spaghetti:

One bonus of spaghetti eating: no need to floss post-dining!

Rachel from Grosse Point, MI writes: My husband and I are both in our early thirties and are in good health. We’ve been trying to conceive for about four months now, with no luck. Neither of us have any reason to believe we’d have trouble getting pregnant. Is there a certain time you recommend “trying” before seeing a specialist?

Our on-call Reproductive Endocrinologist, Dr. Eve Feinberg, answers:

The classic definition of “infertility” is the inability to achieve pregnancy after one year of unprotected intercourse.  With that being said, however, 80 percent of couples will conceive within four months of trying and an additional 10 percent will conceive between months four to six.  In other words, 90 percent will achieve pregnancy within six months.  If you are under the age of 35, it is a good idea to make an appointment to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist, a fertility specialist, after six months of “trying” without success, though traditionally, the recommendation is to wait a full year.  If your menstrual cycles aren’t regular or you have reason to suspect fertility issues, I advise seeing a specialist sooner rather than later regardless of your age.

There are many reasons why men and women in good health may not be getting pregnant, most of which a Reproductive Endocrinologist could discover with testing.  Common causes of fertility issues are ovarian dysfunction, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine issues and male-oriented issues like low sperm count, irregularly-shaped sperm and motility issues (meaning, how those guys swim).  “Ovarian dysfunction” issues can include things like problems with ovulation and problems with your ovarian reserve (a marker of how “old” your ovaries are acting).  If you have regular menstrual cycles every 28-34 days without the pill, there is a high likelihood that you’re ovulating.  If the interval between your menstrual cycles is longer than 34 days, chances are you’re not. Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) is a very common cause of not ovulating, and is present in six to ten percent of reproductive-aged women (Chelsea’s note: I’m one of them!).  If you have irregular or non-existent periods, PCOS could be your issue. Problems with ovarian reserve are much harder to diagnose, as there are no outward symptoms that a woman might experience.  Smoking is a common cause of diminished ovarian reserve, so if you are still smoking, this is one additional reason to quit! Blocked fallopian tubes are also a common cause of fertility problems that also have no outward physical signs. If you have or have had endometriosis, pelvic inflammation or prior pelvic infections, this may be what’s giving you trouble. The thing is, many women are not aware that they have any of these issues, so they go about “trying” not knowing there’s actually an impediment there. Additionally, the majority of couples with male factor infertility (which accounts for 35 percent of all causes of infertility) also have no symptoms.  Therefore, it’s never a bad idea to get yourself and your partner “checked out” if you or he suspect something might be up.

On a good note, once a diagnosis is established and treatment begun, the odds of becoming pregnant are greatly increased!  The mistake many couples make is waiting too long to be seen by a specialist. Seeing a specialist will not only improve your chances of pregnancy, but will make that dream come true faster.

Got a fertility-oriented question for Dr. Feinberg? {encode="info@themomtourage.com" title="Click here to contact her!"}

I am so sick of seeing stories about how celebrities lost their baby weight that if I read one more, I think I’ll puke until I lose all of mine. It’s neither original nor all that funny anymore to complain about how unrealistic the rates as which celebrities lose their baby weight are. Obviously, it’s their job to do so, and because they’re multi-millionaires whose job is to look amazing, they literally spend all day and millions of dollars ensuring that within 4 or so months after popping out their kids, they’re lean and mean again.  Certainly, if you and I had Jennifer Lopez’s money, we’d have nannies caring for our kids (b.s. to her and Skeletor’s claims that they don’t employ nannies, by the way) while our personal chef, trainer and nutritionist (according to this week’s US Weekly) literally worked our butts off. And then, of course, we’d be rocking bikinis four months after having twins, just as she was recently seen doing.

For us real gals, the real way to lose weight is the un-fancy “eat less and exercise” program. I’m no health expert, but I know (and, naturally, hate) the simple truth that when you burn more calories than you consume, weight comes off. When I finally decided to lose my weight after Big Bro was born, I lived on BALANCE Bar Bare Sweet & Salty bars. They come in Chocolate Almond and Peanut Butter flavors, but my favorite was Yogurt Nut. What I like about these bars is that unlike other nutrition bars, they actually taste good and not all artificial and cardboard-y. They’re the perfect combo of salty and sweet, and they really do keep you satisfied for hours (note to Weight Watchers devotees: they’re four points each).

This go-‘round, I’m still on the bars, but I’ve added Momtourage member Alicia’s not-so secret secret: drink lots of water. Because I find drinking loads of plain water rather boring and therefore somewhat painful to actually do, I’ve been guzzling this new water beverage called twist. I’m freaked out by most things artificial in my drinks (my food, not so much - see above), so this stuff has none of it. Essentially, it’s an organic, low-calorie (less than 10 per serving), preservative-free water flavored with juice and organic agave nectar for just a touch of sweetness. They come in six fruity flavors: Lemon, Mandarin White Tea, Mango Acai, Pomegranate Blueberry, West Indies Lime and Peach (my favorite, because I’m from Georgia like that).

Seriously - these drinks are awesome. If you need inspiration to drink yourself come water - you must try them. You can get these waters for around $1.29 for 19-ounces at specialty grocery stores (like Whole Foods) around the country. If you’d like to try them, I’ve got a set of all six flavors to give away to 10 winners each. To be eligible to win, you must be registered for The Momtourage’s mailing list, so if you’re not, click on the green “Join Our Mailing List” box at the top, right-hand corner of this page to register. 

15 (okay, 20) pounds to go…...

Yesterday’s L.A. Times featured an article about American interrogators and their “torture playlists”, essentially, the songs they’ve been playing over and over again in an attempt to torture prisoners and detainees.

As I read the article, I was reminded of when I was in college and my then-boyfriend, making me take a vow of secrecy that I am clearly breaking here, reported that during his fraternity’s Hell Week, he and his pledge brothers got locked in a room where cold water was dripped on them and “Here Comes the Hotstepper” (specifically, the “chi chi chang chang” part) was put on the stereo system’s repeat. He said it was sheer torture, and apparently, the U.S. military agrees, as they use the same tactics on suspected terrorists at Abu Ghraib. The only difference between the two scenarios is that my ex-boyfriend and his pledge bros voluntarily signed up for and endured that crap, and then the following year made the dudes dumb enough to do anything to be allowed into their social circle suffer through the same thing. Woo hoo, brotherly love!

“Here Comes the Hotstepper” was not mentioned in the Times article, but one of the songs supposedly used to break the will of terrorist suspects and cause them to confess to crimes against humanity was one I know well: the “I Love You” song from the “Barney” TV series. It’s actually the song I sing to Big Bro every night before I put him to bed, with the words slightly changed to include the names of everyone in our family. Interestingly enough, I didn’t pick the song to be our featured bedtime lullaby because of its association with Barney, but because it is sung to the tune of “This Old Man”, which is one of Big Bro’s all time faves. I actually loathe Barney with a hatred I only reserve for Karl Rove and nude pantyhose. Ugh, he’s so horrifically grating. And lame. If a children’s character could ever be designated a douchebag, Barney would win such honors. I’m sorry, but you know it’s true.

The author of the article, Bob Singleton, who was music director for the TV show “Barney and Friends”, wrote: “When I heard that “I Love You” had been used at Abu Ghraib to break the will of terror suspects, I just laughed. It’s absolutely ludicrous. A song that was designed to make little children feel safe and loved was somehow going to threaten the mental state of adults and drive them to the emotional breaking point?”

Uh, Bob, have you actually heard your song? It does precisely that, brother. The U.S. Military is using your song against the enemy for the same reason it employs assault rifles and smart bombs: they work.

Is it me, or is Bob the only dude on the planet baffled by this news?

On July 4, the New York Times ran an editorial imploring the FDA to update its safety data on sunscreen. In a nutshell, here’s why: Despite the fact that the F.D.A. proposed creating new safety standards and a new ratings system for sunscreens last August, they’ve done nothing in terms of actually creating them. In the meantime, the Environmental Working Group, a Washington research organization, looked into the safety and effectiveness of the sunscreens currently available to consumers (nearly 1,000 products). After collecting all their data and testing the sunscreens, the group found that it could recommend only 15 percent of those on the market with S.P.F. ratings of 15 or higher. The ones they could not recommend - 85 percent of what’s out there - either did not protect skin enough from some radiation that can cause skin cancer or included ingredients linked to possible health hazards.

Yikes, right?

Here are the top 10 products, in terms of effectiveness, as determined by the research conducted by the Environmental Working Group:

1. Keys Soap Solar Rx Therapeutic Sunblock, SPF 30
2. Trukid Sunny Days Facestick Mineral Sunscreen UVA/UVB Broad Spectrum, SPF 30+
3. California Baby Sunblock Stick No Fragrance, SPF 30+
4. Badger Sunscreen, SPF 30
5. Marie Veronique Skin Therapy Sun Serum
6. Lavera Sunscreen Neutral, SPF 40
7. Vanicream Sunscreen, SPF 35
8. UV Natural Sunscreen, SPF 30+
9. Sun Science Sport Formula, SPF 30
10.  Soleo Organics Sunscreen all natural Sunscreen, SPF 30+

Basically, it seems the products that received the lowest marks all had a few things in common: non-lotion formulas (sprays, even a few powders), the ingredient oxybenzone, fragrance and a low SPF number. I was shocked to see that among the lowest-rated sunscreens were products from some of the most distributed brands: Neutrogena, Hawaiian Tropic, Banana Boat and Coppertone. And I’m not even referencing SPF 2 oil - it’s products like Hawaiian Tropic Ozone Sunblock, SPF 70, Neutrogena UVA/UVB Sunblock Lotion, SPF 45 and Banana Boat Ultra Defense Broad Spectrum Sunblock, SPF 80. The bottom line: Just because a product has a high SPF and comes from a recognized brand doesn’t mean that it’s one you should slather on yourself or your kids. To search their findings by brand, product or formula, click here.

To help you make there best choices, here are the common brands the Environmental Working Group most recommends, based on the products’ effectiveness:

1. Blue Lizard (anything without oxybenzone)
2. California Baby (anything with SPF 30+)
3. CVS (with zinc oxide)
4. Jason Natural Cosmetics Sunbrellas Mineral Based Sunblock
5. Kiss My Face (“Paraben Free” series)
6. Neutrogena (Sensitive Skin Sunblock)
7. Olay Defense (Daily UV Moisturizer with zinc)
8. SkinCeuticals (Physical UV Defense)
9. Solar Sense (Clear Zinc for Face)
10. Walgreens (Zinc Oxide for Face, Nose, & Ears)

More than a million cases of skin cancer are diagnosed in the U.S. every year, yet it seems no one at the F.D.A. feels it necessary to set the sunscreen safety standards the agency 30 years ago that it would. Meanwhile, companies are free to claim but not provide broad spectrum protection. Until FDA requires that all sunscreens be safe and effective, I advise using the Environmental Working Group’s comprehensive sunscreen guide—including a list of 143 products that offer very good sun protection—to fill in the gaps. If you’re fed up with the F.D.A.‘s negligence, click here to sign a petition being sent to Dr. Jeff Shuren, who heads up the F.D.A.‘s sunscreen standard process, telling him you want safe sunscreen—and you don’t want to wait another 30 years.